Dad's Army Sees Things
by Eliza Donelittle
Summary: Captain Mainwaring and the Walmington-On-Sea platoon have the surprise of their lives when characters from Alice in Wonderland and the Chronicles of Narnia visit them one night while they're drilling in the church hall. A one shot story.


Author's Note.

I recently watched the BBC TV remakes of 3 lost episodes of 'Dad's Army' and it inspired this one shot story. 'Dad's Army' and its characters are the creation of Jimmy Perry and David Croft.

'Atten-' Captain Mainwaring began to shout but was interrupted by a large white rabbit appearing through the wall of the church hall. It stood upright and wore a gaily embroidered waistcoat. It fished a large pocket watch out of its waistcoat pocket, looked at it and then said as it pattered along, 'Oh my stars and whiskers! I'm late, the queen will be very angry.' It walked to the end of the hall while the men stared at it and then vanished through the far wall.

A moment later, a little girl with long blonde hair who wore an old-fashioned blue gingham frock with a white pinafore burst through the wall. She chased after the rabbit and then vanished through the far wall too.

'Captain Mainwaring, that was a white rabbit,' whined Private Pike, the youngest member of the platoon. He always wore a muffler his mother had knitted for him, whatever the weather.

'Yes I can see that, said Captain Mainwaring. 'Stupid boy.'

'Do you think it was Alice?' Private Pike asked.

'Do you know her? Does she live near you?' Private Walker wanted to know.

Two of the home guard started slipping out of the door,

'Frazer and Walker get back here on the double,' Captain Mainwaring ordered.

'I just wanted to check the wee lassie was alright,' explained Private Frazer, an old Scotsman with a long face with shrewd eyes.

'A likely story!'

Before Captain Mainwaring could say anything else, a huge lion bounded through the same wall as the rabbit had. Four children tumbled through the wall after it. There were two boys and two girls, all dressed in school uniform. The lion bounded along the hall. All the men stumbled back and some of them screamed.

Corporal Jones kept shouting 'Don't panic! Don't panic!' and running around in circles.

Some of the platoon aimed their rifles but they couldn't shoot because the children were chasing the lion.

'Aslan!' the children called.

'Get out of the way,' Captain Mainwaring shouted at them but they didn't seem to hear him.

The tallest fair-haired boy was wearing a sword belt and the hilt of a sword protruded from a scabbard. He also carried a shield with the design of a red lion on it. The eldest girl who was dark haired, had a quiver full of arrows slung over one shoulder and carried a bow in one hand and a hunting horn in the other.

'She's very pretty,' said Pike, staring at her.

'She's too young for you, laddie,' said Frazer not unkindly.

The youngest, a fair-haired girl carried a small bottle that sparkled as she ran. Walker's eyes glittered covetously when he spotted that. The children followed the lion all the way to the end of the hall and then vanished through the wall like him.

'It must have escaped from a circus,' Captain Mainwaring said to Sergeant Wilson, his second in command.

'Possibly,' Sergeant Wilson said, doubt colouring his reply.

'Hadn't we better go after it?' suggested Private Pike.

'Oh I think it's a case for the experts,' Captain Mainwaring said. 'We'd better ring the nearest zoo.'

'May I be excused?' asked Private Godfrey. 'I'm afraid I may have had a little accident.'

'I think a few of us did,' chuckled Private Walker.

'Walker!' thundered Captain Mainwaring. 'Perhaps we had better ring the police instead.'

"And report an escaped white rabbit with a pocket watch?' asked Sergeant Wilson.

Wilson had a point.

'Probably best if we forget about it and never mention it again,' said Captain Mainwaring to his platoon.

Later on, in the privacy of the office, 'Captain Mainwaring asked Sergeant Wilson, 'What do you make of it?'

Sergeant Wilson stroked his chin and touched his left earlobe. 'Curioser and curioser,' he said.


End file.
